Zuca & James Vincent

Zuca with protective cover

ZUCA PRO ARTIST CASE

So, after suffering bag envy for about a month, I finally succumbed and purchased the pro artist Zuca Bag (£194 from Screenface). Readers of my previous blog on carrying equipment, will recall that my current suitecase (one of several I have purchased over the years) was on it's last legs, so the life time guarantee on the Zuca appealed to me, but I was worried about the actual size. It did look rather small!!

Well after watching various Youtube videos of other artists with their Zuca's, I could take it no more.  So here I was walking in the pouring rain with my new case covered in plastic, just in case I wanted to return it!

It's smaller than I imagined but it comes with lots of pockets in the sides and the front, also 5 zipped mesh pouch inserts, in various sizes.  Even so, I still could not see how a medium sized suitcase of makeup, could fit into such a small case.  Like a child at Christmas, I started emptying all the plastic zip bags that held my compartmentalized makeup and started putting them into the various Zuca pouches; Blushes in one, foundations in another etc. as I completed each one, I  loaded them into the Zuca case.

Colour coded zip pouches of various sizes

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I got as far as the fourth pouch. It could hold no more! Even though I had put all the cleansing products into the side and front pockets, I still had a considerable amount of makeup still waiting in my old and slightly dog eared suitcase! I called up reinforcements.  A makeup artist friend who has had her Zuca for years.  She said she fitted ALL her make up in hers and that the only thing she didn't fit, was the stuff she never uses.  So back to the drawing board for me.

I went through and threw out old cream blushers, lipsticks and glosses that were way past their sell by date (really need to keep on top of that stuff). Blot Powders that you would need a knife to scrape around the edges to get any powder out, the same with powder blushers. (I know I'm running low and so I buy new ones, only to keep hold of the ones with hardly anything in...why????).  Any pencils that were less than an inch long, gone! (I hold on to the ones discontinued, but if it's so short, it can no longer be gripped by the sharpener, why is it still in my kit???)  I then started to repack the Zuca pouches in a flatter and neater manner (common sense when you think about it).

Now all 5 pouches are neatly stacked in my new Zuca. The more than generous side and front pockets takes everything else, from my cleansers and tissues to dental floss and plasters.   I feel like Dr Who and his Tardis.  It's hard to believe I can now manage with such a small case. 

Zuca with hair bag stacked on top

I have used it for two jobs now. Once using the car and the other using public transport. It's amazingly easier to carry up the stairs, due to the location of the handle. I felt quite smug sitting on it on a packed  tube train, my own personal throne! It cannot hold makeup AND hair equipment.  But I found resting my hair bag on top of the Zuca and pulling them together, also saves the ache from my shoulders.   So am I a fan?....you bet your sweet fanny I am!

 

James Vincent

Today I attended The Makeup Show event at Inglot in Westfield. With demonstrations from James Vincent an American makeup artist, who has done the likes of Lady Gaga.  As a makeup artist, we should never forget there are always new tricks to be learnt, and I am glad to say,  James did not disappoint.  Not only were there new tricks of the trade demonstrations, but also sound advice about how to get on in this industry.  One that sticks out in my mind is when he said it didn't matter about your size, colour or nationality, but your success was based on your talent (bearing in mind that this was from a slightly rotund gay man who was clearly addicted to tattoo needles ) never a truer word said.


He is here basically to promote The Makeup Show in Berlin (17-18th Sept).  Unlike IMATS this will be solely for professionals.  There will be agents there who will critique and advise you on your portfolio.  There will also be makeup brands like Makeup for Ever as well as the usual favourites like MAC and INGLOT.  We were also informed that not only will the top makeup brands be there, but the main makeup artists behind the brand (as apposed to the usual makeup counter staff) There will be free seminars from industry professionals and most importantly, a networking party, where makeup artists can mingle with industry bigwigs and photographers etc.  Discount has also been arranged with various hotels and airlines.  Well, I for one have booked my ticket already.  Contact www.themakeupshow.com if you wish to join me!
 

A week of Thailand and Riots!

Koh Samui


When we arrived at the hotel we were greeted with a refreshing cocktail as we checked in (love these local customs). The place we stayed in was called Centara Villas and whilst I had looked at their website (I know...the accommodation is never as good as the photos, but  I did look at Trip Adviser for their comments) but I was still unprepared for what greeted me.  The apartments were all on stilts in various parts of the grounds and linked by a series of winding steps.  I had the cheapest of the rooms (Garden View) which incidentally, should be considered illegal under trade description laws as all I saw were my neighbours and steps, unless the over grown plants were considered the garden! Don't get me wrong, the villas were nicely decorated and well laid out inside, but it was basically a conservatory on stilts, with glass on 3 out of the 4 walls. I would have loved to have left the  blinds up permanently so I could look out at the sea beyond but every time I rolled them up all I could see is my neighbour walking around in his hammock underpants...God knows what he saw when he looked my way but he was 60 if he was a day! Really not a pretty sight before breakfast.

Close to the neigbours

The rest of my party were higher up the hill, in two spa villas, basically a small whirl pool on their varanda consisting of local flowers and various drowned insects. They were on the outer edges of the complex so where as  I had steps to climb everyday, they just had a steep hill but they did have privacy. As for me, it was like climbing Mount Everest! Breakfast was served on the beach front, at the bottom of the hill, naturally!  So each morning, I would go down armed with everything I needed for the day, I was not gonna climb that beast of a hill more than twice, after all I came for a rest, not a heart attack!

After the first day, I envied their seclusion and I also thought the steep hill was easier to navigate than the steps, also I had "lost" my villa and was wondering around this maze like complex 4 times, this was despite having a map!!  After finally finding it and suffering from lack of oxygen as well as heat stroke I was all set to exchange rooms. I had had enough by day two.  This was before they told me they had been frightened out of their wits during the night as "something" had jumped on their roof and tried to open the door during the night...Tarzan I aint, so thought I was better off staying where I was. We still don't know what it was, but it did become a regular visitor so they had a lot of interrupted nights. I of course would pass out from pure exhaustion and would sleep like a baby!

Centara Beach

Where we stayed was quite quiet and we had most of the beach to ourselves, despite it being rainy season, we had continuing sunshine and sitting under a shade by the beach was bliss it was on average 29 degrees and the sea was like a warm bath.  Centara Villas  was a couples paradise (they have two guitar playing singers who serenade each table with soppy love ballads at dinner. We only ate at dinner there the first night, thank God!) During the evening we would venture out to Chaweng or Lamai a 30 min or 10 min drive depending on which one you went to. These resorts were bustling with tourists and had things like McDonalds, Starbucks, pole dancers and fish and chips all along the main strip, you would be easily fooled into thinking you were in Magaluf! Although shopping was much better value in Bangkok,  it was still far cheaper than the UK.  So after tasting the delights of these resort areas,  we thanked God  we had not booked into anywhere there and went back to our  beach that we didn't have to share with 50 - 60 thousand other people!

There were two local restaurants outside the hotel who served great Thai food and most evenings a 3 course meal with wine came up to a wapping £7.

2nd Waterfall

We did the Na Muang waterfall and elephant ride excursions, the tour operator had informed us that it was fine to wear flip flops...big mistake! The 1st waterfall was small and barely manageable but the 2nd was over 80mts high and at first I had refused to go up the side of the mountain in flit flops and a shoulder bag  but when I saw the whole group making an effort, I thought why not.  So up and up we went via sharp rocks and slippery mud, others passed me by in their rock climbing boots and hard hats.  They offered to stay and help me but I thought I could do it alone, albeit slowly.    I had to pull myself up GI Jane style up this steep hill and  the sweat was dripping off me after each turn.  Then I came to this huge rock and the only means to get up it was via a bit of vine, I tried it to see if it would hold my weight and then I made the biggest mistake of all....I looked down!  I was very high up and there was no one in sight, I could no longer see the others in front and when I called out their names, there was no reply.....I've seen enough movies to know that all it takes is one slip for them never to hear from me again and it's always the one at the back that gets done in (I had already passed the spirit house- a Thai style bird house on stilts that houses the spirit of someone that died!!) so I tried to calm my heart that was now threatening to beat its way, literally out of my chest and walked tentatively back down, I lost count of the amount of times my flit flops flew off or threatened to decapitate my big toe! When I finally got to the bottom I went to the makeshift shop at the bottom to replenish the 2 gallons of fluids I had lost on route, only to run into the biggest spider I have ever seen! I'm surprised I'm still alive to be honest!

Arachnophobia!

Quiet frankly I could quite happily set up a Yoga retreat and live there for the rest of my life, for despite Thailand being considered  a third world country. I only saw two beggars one in Chaweng and the other in Lamai (they basically just walk a long with a cup in their hand and as they don't hassle you, I'm assuming they were beggars and not just thirsty!) Everyone else is out to make money to feed their family, if not by selling fake designer goods, it's  providing beauty treatments, running a bar, restaurant, shop, tour group, selling goods on the beach or even selling their services to western men eager for a taste of Thai!  They approach you with the same questions; "where are you from and how long are you staying?" and then you know the hustle is coming; a friend with a tailor or jewelry shop you can go to who does "special discount" but it's all done with a smile so you never feel intimidated and I was extremely sad to leave, vowing to one day return.

London and the Riots

There was a 5 minute segment about the riots on Thai TV so I really only caught up with all of it once I returned.  The first paper I picked up on my return was The Standard and from their pictures it would seem that every black person in the UK was responsible for the uprising.  I then started watching all the BBC and You Tube footage.  It was youths in general, black, white and asians and it just wasn't the main cities that was affected but tiny little hamlets around Essex and Kent, some of these areas have little or no black people.  I mention this because I also saw the interview with David Starkey which stated that whites were acting like blacks and I was incensed to say the least!

Starkey, who is a Historian and therefore considered highly educated, seems to believe that all nationalities have a special gene that means they ALL act the same regardless of their circumstances.  Well lets just test that theory shall we? ALL my white friends want to be Jordan, I have Chinese friends obviously, they can ALL fight like Bruce Lee, my asian friends ALL wear saris and break out into song everytime they see the rain, my muslim friends ALL have a bomb making kit in the kitchen, I've lost count of the amount of times I've caught ALL my Swedish friends stark naked shopping in Tescos,  everytime ALL my Brazillian friends hear a samba beat they break out the sequined thong and feathers and start marching down Oxford street and don't get me started on my African friends, ALL sitting on the tube with a dead zebra on their shoulders not to mention ALL my Irish friends lying in a drunken heap 15ft high outside every pub in London.  All of this is completely absurd, but Starkey seems to think as Black people, we go around breaking into shops and stealing trainers and naturally the whites want to copy this "black" pass time so now they are "acting" black because naturally we all act the same as its our colour that determines our actions.  Neither I or any member of my family has cracked the windows of Curry's when we found we needed an extra 40 inch screen TV but I suppose under Mr Starkey calculations, that would mean I was acting white.  But what does it mean to be white using Mr Starkeys rule of thumb? Through out history, Europeans have raped and pillaged every continent, that which wasn't theirs has been taken by force from the indigenous people that owned it.....hold on a minute! That's exactly what these yobs have been doing, far from acting black, these youths have been acting as white as their ancestors once did! Maybe Mr Starkey should brush up on his history!


After the shooting in Tottenham, a peaceful protest escalated into anarchy. I once read Michael Cains autobiography where he stated he was a little bit of a villain when he was a kid but these days there's no parks for the kids to play in (they've been turned into high rises) they have computer games that desensitizes them to violence and they see you can get rich and famous just from showing your tits on TV. Michael predicted that one day the youth of Britain would rise up and start a war and this is exactly what has happened here.  It was a war between the young and the old, the have and the have nots, colour had nothing to do with it and just plain villains taking advantage of an opportunity.  In Thailand, everyone is an entrepreneur, they have a work ethic that the youths here would do well to imitate, but with babies giving birth to babies and the grand mothers not that much older. I'm unsure how we can ever turn things around.

BANGKOK!

Take Off

Well here I am.  After struggling on the Victoria Line with my over sized case (bought one with 4 wheels for ease, but really didn't consider the impracticalities of carrying it up steps!!) and the stop over at Dubai airport (a bit of a disappointment actually....Mcdonalds and Burger King in the food hall and nothing much better in between...you would think the oasis complete with water fall and palm trees in the middle of the departure lounge, could be sacrificed for a decent eaterie! Can't fault the Emerates for flight though, smoothest take off and landing ever, copious amounts of food and all the films I could ever want to see.

Arrival.

We arrived in Bangkok, my name clearly displayed for pickup and my 20 pound limo (actually it was a merc but who's splitting hairs at that price!) Bangkok is full of high rise buildings, long duel carriageways and the skytrain overhead (think DLR only much cleaner, faster and much more important AIRCONDITIONING!...now why can't WE do that???) I was told that the street food was much nicer than the stuff in the restuarants.  Well there are street vendors every 50 yards, and all by the side of the duel carriage way (passing trade I suppose), some of them wore masks, which was either to protect them from germs or the smog, either way I wasn't that daring so if I've eaten substandard, I'm not bothered.

Have been to see the Reclining Buddha, the Emerald Buddha and the Palace, think the King and I but a million times the gold and mother of pearl decorations every where. I have been shopping!! There are huge malls here. One of the largest is in the centre of Siam where they sell designer goods such as Gucci and Prada hand bags at bargain prices compared to England, 5 floors of utter indulgence.....I went to the one down the road, 8 floors of  designer goods like Gricci and Pruda and where you had to haggle for everything, afterall I'm only here for the bargains!  I am here with 3 mixed race children and everywhere we go people want to take our picture, school children line up politely in their navy blue and white uniforms to take our picture one by one, have no idea what that's about but revelling in my celebrity status!  There are a LOT of crusty old western men here, snaggled toothed and one hair on their head, walking around with Thai girls young enough to be their great grand daughters.  I was talking to a much younger guy from Canada and he said he gets more hassled here than the girls do.  Every Thai girl and her mother wants to be his 'girl friend' so I guess these old geezers figure its better than retiring to Bognor Regis!

After a days shopping, I  felt in need of a massage, so booked myself in for a Thai Massage.  I went in and met a little old lady about 60 who asked me to get undressed and put on a pair of Thai pajarmas, the trousers alone wrapped around me 3 times (one size fits all no matter what sex!) I was then asked to lie on a matt on the floor, this old lady then began pushing her thumbs into my spine, I let out a little groan (okay a large cry) and she asked me if it was too hard, I said yes and her response to me was "yu should no go for dis massa den, dis massa vely har, yu should go for sof massa". I said ok and bit my lip as this little old lady used her elbows, knees, feet, anything she could find to inflict the utmost pain into my body for an hour. When it had all finished, she had the cheek to offer me tea....should have just chucked it at her...let her know what pain is!....instead I just walked away barely, maybe I should have found out exactly what a Thai massage was before going in.

My attempt to get the rest of the gang in to see a lady boy show came to no avail.  Unfortunately, we saw two dressed up for the night, head to toe in pink mini dresses, long Slinky legs with knobbly knees, slim toned arms with hands like a bricklayer and hair that just didn't sit right! After seeing them, the more macho of the group absolutely refused to go to the cabaret.  I was gutted!

So here I am, in the airport lounge typing this blog (hence the lack of photographic evidence of my exploits) on my way to Koh Sumui, where the second part of my adventure begins......